My Hell
Short Story
by Alexandra L. Bergens
Have you ever wondered where you and I are going after we die? Do you
believe in Hell? I do. I'm an atheist who has given up on religion,
on life; on a perfect world--but my life couldn't be any better.
At a very young age I have discovered that there is a Hell--a Hell
no longer nearly thought of as an unholy virulent plot--but a place, a
location, a city that went on and on that almost seemed as if nothing
could ever get in your way--that it could never possibly be anything of
the infernal displacement that our ancestors had led it on to be.
Too
bad it turned out to be a premonition. I most definitely had a dream of
Hell. I remember who was there reading the list, making the big
decisions. Satan was no longer around--I had all sorts of demons and
witches following my every desire. Am I power hungry or power driven?
Reading that list made me feel as if I had all the power in the
universe--the world was at my feet. Many days had passed before I realized the
list was putting people in misery. Why didn't I stop? Like I said, I was
power crazy. My hands and my mind were itching towards the one major
checklist--the one that was the controller of demonic to angelic ratios.
I wanted more followers instead of adversaries. I was hungry for more.
The more mischievous sprites I had the less seraphs I had invading my
privacy. I never did quite understand why they were there in the first
place. I still never quite understood why I was enjoying people in
pain.
The less angels in my presence meant to me that the death vs. life
peace, love, and harmony cultic behavior was at a stalemate--more
deaths and torment for the unjust bastards that they were. By now you are
thinking it'll all be over once I die. I have news for you never it's
just beginning.
Sorry to piss on your little tea party--but the time has
come where I must settle truth from reality, dreams from premonitions,
and future from destiny. I wish I could take it all back. Endless
nights from extremely short days make me wonder why I kept on. Was I the
unholy Goddess who really controlled it all? Did I really have what it
takes to make or break people's minds?
Corporeal beings such as the
souls I was terrorizing deserved it all--but no more than the one person
who I dedicated my entire evilness to. The one person who had taught me
what it was to love in actuality was and be loved by another. I refuse to
put his name in this unbroken saga but by the end only I will know who
it truly was.
Many people don't understand how it feels to be loved
unless you have been loved twice. These illusory perceptions were those
of a broken heart. And so the story begins only at the end. I see Hell
as if it is there. I see everything happy but only from my point of
view. Why can't they be happy too? My mischievous children were right
along beside me when I had achieved and accomplished everything that
made me happy why were they enjoying themselves too? I was the power
hungry fatality who had decided to destroy everything. Not them. I made
the decisions. Not demonic beings. Something had to change. Not many
days had passed before I had decided to make a transformation of my
so-called Hell--my home, my throne, my envious supremacy that even my own
emotionless being had decided to change. Now everyone must pay. Now I
have feelings--of a broken heart. If you have emotions you should not,
not under any circumstances have weaknesses. I had one and I destroyed
my evil plots, my cold heart, and my hatred towards love.
I opened up to this being--never knowing what I was in store for. I had
never in the entire object of what I had called life had I had I ever
imagined that I was loved or so I thought. Never had I ever wondered
what it would be like to have my heart owned by another. He had taken my
cold heart and made it open up to him. I had never once thought that I
would have any feelings of love or serenity until one Monday in
December of 2004. I had agreed to love him only for his love in return or
for what I thought was love.
Many months went by followed by dramatic changes in both of our lives
which leads me to this Hell--my new home--my only home.
Do you have any idea where you are going to go when you die? I do.
Hell--the only place that makes me happy not anyone else. Enjoy the
afterlife. I look forward to seeing your pitiful soul. There is no such
thing as Heaven--only my Hell. A place of torture and disrespect--a place so unholy that one visit of the DEAD at breakfast will make me not only
cry out in joy but also make me devote myself for love of the dead.
Hell is my place, my dwelling, not anything that you, a mortal, an
earthly bound creature who has feelings, can take away from me.
Welcome To The Afterlife
My Hell© COPYRIGHT 2004 Alexandra L. Bergens. Reproduction prohibited without permission from the author. 08/27/04
